When I sat down to write about neuroaffirming therapy, I quickly realised it can be quite hard to put into words, because a lot of it is about how it feels. It's the feeling that your therapist understands and respects that you often experience and process the world in a different way to others, and that you can explain your thoughts and feelings without the fear of being judged.
Neuroaffirming therapy, as I practise it, starts with one simple priority: helping you feel safe.
That means creating a place where your body and mind can settle. Online therapy can really support this, as you are connecting from your own familiar space.
From there, it's about building a therapeutic relationship in ways that feel natural to you, often by bringing in the things you care about, like your interests or passions. This takes time, and I encourage you to move at your own pace, with the goal of gradually feeling able to be more yourself within the relationship.
It also means working with someone who is real and human - someone who can acknowledge shared struggles (without taking the focus away from you) so that therapy feels like something you're doing with someone, not something being done to you.
Another important part of neuroaffirming therapy is making sure we're looking through the right lenses. It's similar to if you wear the wrong glasses; everything can seem out of focus. In neuroaffirming therapy, it is important the therapist has the right lenses so that they can help you make sense of your world, considering your neurodivergence.
We might explore things like:
- Sensory overwhelm
- Monotropism
- Rejection Sensitivity
- Justice Sensitivity
- Energy accounting
These are things that might not be as important for neurotypical clients, but finding the right tools to understand and navigate some of these things can be life changing if you're neurodivergent.
It's also about working together to find the best ways for you to communicate your experience. Putting thoughts and feelings into words isn't always easy, especially if you're trying to explain things that feel complicated, overwhelming, or hard to describe. In neuroaffirming therapy, I don't expect that there is a 'right' way to communicate. It might be helpful to use visuals, creative activities, or games to help you express yourself. Sessions can include laughter, joking, and celebrating the things that are going well too - it doesn't have to just be about the hard stuff.
In neuroaffirming therapy you always have choices, and you can say no if you don't want to do something in a certain way. In a world that often pushes neurodivergent people past their limits, having autonomy over how you express yourself and the topics you choose to explore is essential.
That's why finding time to regularly check in together is so important - it makes sure therapy feels supportive and useful. Your feedback is a key part of the process. You're regularly invited to share whether things are working for you, and you are encouraged to ask for things to be done differently if something doesn't feel comfortable.
In neuroaffirming therapy, your voice matters, and because you are an individual and there is no one 'right way' to do therapy, adjusting and adapting is not just allowed, but expected. Most importantly, in neuroaffirming therapy you feel listened to, respected and accepted exactly as you are.